Before You Say Yes

Would you be interested in . . . .?” “We need someone to . . .” “They can’t __________, so . . . umm, we were wondering if, you know, uh, maybe you could.” Sound familiar?

If you’re like most of the professionals I know, someone is always after your time and talent. But can you blame them? You’re sharp as a tack, a savage planner, a beast when it comes to execution and your word is bond. You. Are. A. Certified. Bawse. But why then are you so overwhelmed, overcommitted and completely over being everybody’s go-to person? How did you allow yourself to get complimented into the wrong role – be it a job promotion or a volunteer opportunity?

You’re not alone. I hear this a LOT! In fact it’s one of the most common reasons successful leaders like you seek out my Irresistible Life Coaching.  

Time is our most precious resource because it’s the one thing we simply can’t get more of. But most of us don’t need more time – we need to better stewards of the time we have. Now before you assume this is just another “download the latest calendar management app, wake up earlier and grid harder” speech, hear me out. I believe in all that stuff, but none of that helps if you’re busy with the wrong stuff. Being overcommitted with the wrong stuff won’t just leave you overwhelmed, it leaves you living somebody eles’s life, not yours. Saying yes when you should say no makes you miserable and salty. Not a good look.

News flash: Everything that’s on your plate right now is there because you said “yes” to it at some point. Whether you actually parted your lips, just nodded your head or gave an unintelligible grunt is beside the point. Point is: you didn’t give a loud and clear no. Acknowledging that was a real game changer for me. Not only did it make me own the fact that I was complicit in my overscheduled life, but it also empowered me. The same mouth I used to say “yes” could be used to lovingly and firmly say “Thank you, but no.” 

And yet, going around like a defiant toddler saying no at every turn could cause you to reject some expansive opportunities. Not a good look either. 
So how will you know what to say yes to and what to run away from like your hair is on fire? How will you consistently identify what your priorities should be? How can you tell if you’re spread too thin? How can you tell the difference between a good thing to get involved in and a GOD thing?

Like an overprotective, older sibling vetting your prospective love interests, you need a tool to help qualify the opportunities that come your way and eliminate the undesirables. 

I have 3 simple questions to you need to ask before committing
Real talk: Using these has saved me untold amounts of time, frustration and regret, and I’m sure they’ll do the same for you. 

So before you say yes to that next engagement, role, title or other obligation, simply ask: 

Question #1. Does it fit within my life purpose
Your life purpose is the reason you are on this planet. It’s the gift you are meant to bring to the world. It’s why God created you. A life purpose statement is an extremely powerful tool, providing you with a path for success and giving you permission to say no to things that are distractions from your divine assignment. Because it defines who you are and what you do, your life purpose statement serves as your true north should you start to stray. So before you accept commitment #154, just slowly tell your multi-talented self: “Self, just because you candoesn’t mean you should.” Now, breathe.  
“God planned for us to do good things and to live as he has always wanted us to live.”‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2:10‬ ‭

Question #2. Does it honor my values? Your values are not about what you do – values are about who you are. While your life purpose statement will certainly be reflective of some of your values, values clarification is a deeper dive into what’s truly meaningful to you and why.  When your values are clearly defined and you’re committed to living in alignment with them, both macro and micro decision making becomes so much easier. When you’re asked to do something that doesn’t align with your values (no mater how “good” it may be), you can simply say “Thanks, but I’ll pass. I’m just not about that [fill in the blank] life.” 

Question #3. Is it essential to my or my family’s vision and strategic plan?
Your life vision is the expression of your life purpose and values. Your vision for your life conveys HOW you see that purpose and those values being lived out. But having a vision for your life simply isn’t enough, because with a vision without a plan for achieving it is just a hallucination. No mind altering substances allowed here. 
Enter your strategic plan – the step by step guide for how your vision will be realized. Unless you want your vision to turn into a mirage, you need a plan with clear goals, milestones, deliverables and timetables. If someone or something wants your time, run the opportunity through the filter of your vision and strategic plan. With so many things vying for your time and talents, you owe it to yourself to make sure it’s an all around legit opportunity for you. If it doesnt match up with your life vision and strategic plan, it’s a counterfiet – bounce it like a $3 bill.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish” Proverbs 28:19‭‭

“Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.”‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭21:5‬ ‭

So . . . let’s check in: If you’ve answered “no” to any of Questions 1-3, lovingly but gently break the news that, while you’d love to help, they’ll have to find another victim. Uh sorry . . . I meant person. 

If you’ve answered “yes” to at least two of Questions 1-3, this opportunity could be for you. But not so fast, Player. There are some additional things to consider before you say yes. I teach my clients how to further discern whether an opportunity is the absolute right fit by answering three more critical questions.

I hope the three questions I’ve provided here help you eliminate distractions and get focused on the right stuff so you can live a more fulfilling and impactful life.

If you want to discover your life purpose, clarify your values or develop a strategic plan for crushing your key goals, head over to for more on living The Irresistible Life. 

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